Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just cropdusted the office
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
