So drunk its hurt
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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