that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So vagazzling was a success
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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