dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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