He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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