Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
sarcasm needs its own font
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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