I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize