Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
why do cheetos always look like penises
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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