Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
