return my video game
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just invented taco cereal.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
