I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
