Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize