I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
