I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
