It's like God shit irony all over that family
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
