So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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