Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
