It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
