dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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