hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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