Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
In America we eat man semen.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
