im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
All the doctor said was why
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
