I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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