Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
