yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
