How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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