Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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