Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
