worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize