If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
