I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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