I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize