i was rollin on her like bob the builder
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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