Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
