Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You ruined the universe
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