I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
