What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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