i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
if only i could text you this smell
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
