everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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