the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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