I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
