My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
