I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
