It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It was confusing and full of hummus
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
