i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
