She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
