Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
pray to the hookup gods
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
