Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
