Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
