Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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