Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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