Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
