We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
