I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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