He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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