sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I am one with the molecules
I am available for nakedness
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
