pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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