she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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