Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I am morally bankrupt
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
