Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
