plz talk dirty to me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
